|Arvind: Let’s get right to it – did your robot pizza chef slash a man to pieces with a military laser, put him on a pizza and then serve him to a table of safety inspectors?
AC: It’s unfortunate, but not our fault. We had explicitly warned the restaurant to keep customers with fungal infections away from the food preparation area, and the customer in question had a minor case of athlete’s foot.Arvind: Why should that…
AC: The robot mistook him for a mushroom.Arvind: The CCTV footage was shocking. Are you afraid that might affect sales of the chefbot model?
AC: It had better affect them! It proves our chefbot’s reflecting laser attack works exactly as advertised.
Arvind: And a chefbot needs a laser because…
AC: You want it to be helpless if the robot busboy’s grenade launcher malfunctions? Okay, sicko.
Arvind: Why not just remove weapons from all the robots?
AC: I hear you, but at this point no human is capable of stopping these robots long enough to disarm them. Do you wanna be the guy to chase down a flying flamethrower bot?
Arvind: No, but…
AC: Not to worry, though! We at PyroCorp always have the answer. Presenting, the “Good Robot” – the final word in automated violent peacekeeping. It can evade any weapon system on the planet. It’s compatible with every weapon currently on the market – plasma grenades, cluster missiles, you name it. It passed field tests everywhere in the colony – downtown, scrapyard, underwater, even that district that’s always on fire, and it passed all with flying colors.
Arvind: And this will take down any rogue robots? Even the spiders?
AC: Especially the spiders. Hand to god – if every robot in this entire colony went crazy at the same time, it would still have a fighting chance. And what are the odds of that?